Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
