My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
