Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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