if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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