i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
