The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
