if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
