evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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