This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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