You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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