But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize