Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
