You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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