grandma shit on top of the toilet
This house was built for laser tag.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
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