The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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