it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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