I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
