I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
