I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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