oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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