I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
do herpes really smell.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
