You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
