If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
