so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
