The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
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