Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
