im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
