Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
