i jhust puked up my retainher.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
