Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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