There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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