make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
His nipple licking is glorious
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