I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
