I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
