i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
