I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize