I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Randomize
