you win again, gameday.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
