I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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