I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
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