are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
