Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
