Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
