he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
