can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Sober January is a disaster.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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