worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
