I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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