I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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