I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Life is so much better after having sex.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
