When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
