Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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