he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
