it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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