I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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