have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
