she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize