I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize