I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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