I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
