It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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