i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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