Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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