Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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