She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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