You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
