I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
he just fucked me for my cheese.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
